We've all probably heard about the tragic news that came out on Wednesday. The heads over at Marvel had the audacity to throw not just a female director for Captain Marvel... but also a male. Yes, a person with a penis and testicles is co-directing Captain Marvel. Makes me wanna throw up just thinking about it. How awkward is it gonna be for Brie Larson to listen to a guy telling her how to act and shit? The female director is probably just gonna sit there and like hold the camera. And as a fellow writer on Unreel News, and a person who argues about Comic book movies online, i know movies.I know what happens in the movie industry. I've never even been to Hollywood but I can tell you everything that goes down. There's nothing fine with this at all. It just proves that Marvel isn't confident with just a woman directing the movie.
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By Wyatt J.P
Well after many years of watching movies it's time to ask the question. What in John Goodman's ballsack is a movie? Well let's go back to 1900 or something when the first movie was made. I believe it was called Roundhay Garden Scene. A very polarizing movie about beastiality. The movie revolves around a man who finds a dog taking a spike shit in his garden. The man decides to remove the dog from the premises, however he becomes extremely turned on by the leftover diarrhea leaking from the dog's asshole. He can no longer hold himself back so he takes out his dick and starts sliding it in and out of the dog's anal cavity using the diarrhea as a lubricant. Now let's look at the newest movie The Fate of the Furious. An ensemble action movie with cars, girls but no dog sex. Is this a good thing? Have we figured out what movies are yet? Well believe it or not we have. Movies were at one point, art. They showed us things we weren't to keen on seeing at the time but eventually made sense after the viewing. Movies nowadays lack the diarrhea lubricant that we fuck our dog with. We are no longer able to squeeze our way into that world of taboo. We are stuck with a hard on for that dog. Are we wrong? Are movies something else? Let us know below. |
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June 2018
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