What was once a happy and subtle fan base has now become a nation divided. Ever since the release of Rian Johnson's The Last Jedi, it's been all war and no love. More like all Star War am I right? Ahem anyways, it seems as if this franchise needs to take another direction and please the REAL fans that have grown up with this series ever since the release of Revenge of the Sith. Since I know so much about how the movie making business works, here are six easy step to fix the 'Star Wars' universe and all without having to use the devil's pill known as birth control. 1) EAT MORE FRUIT It's important to have protein in your diet. People have always told me that eating an apple a day keeps the doctor away. And they are one hundred percent correct. I've began eating apples ever since my sophomore year in High School and I haven't seen a doctor since. Well, except for that time where I witnessed my Uncle Chester die in a Hospital bed. God rest that poor soul. But this isn't about him, this is about you. Please eat more fruit. 2) EXCERCISE You must always be active. It's the only way that you'll stay alive. If you're not a big fan of running, just walk. Hell, just walk a mile. Then the next day walk two miles. Then the day after that walk three miles. Sign up for a gym and get on the treadmill. Life isn't going to happen if you don't 3) PRAY God is the center of the world and the creator of human existence. Without God, there would be nothing. Everyday I pray to God and thank him for how truly grateful I am for this life and the people surrounding me. If you don't accept God into your life, then where will you go? 4) BUY OUR MERCHANDISE Now is the best time to go to the Unreel News store and grab yourself a t-shirt. We now sell them in color (Black, Blue, Red). We even sell mugs - if you really need a mug. Just please get one. It would mean the world to us. 5) DON'T HAVE SEX It might be tempting wanting to feel your skin on another man/woman's body. At my church, we call that Satan's pleasure. Having sex is not okay. I mean, if you want to have sex when you're married - that's okay. But overall, it's just not okay. Especially during your daughter's Orchestra recital. If sex is the only thing that's on your mind. Well mister, you better reevaluate your conscious. 6) TREAT OTHERS WITH RESPECT My mom always told me that if you want to live a happy life, you have to make the people around you happy. My mom was a real smart lady. Too bad she's in prison for murder. Besides that, I always follow her lesson and it has changed me.
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AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
June 2018
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