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movie review: The Boss Baby is so good, it will make you think twice on having an abortion.3/22/2017 What can I say except Boss Baby is another slam dunk for Dreamworks animation. With not a lot of hits in the past few years, this one could actually lead them to a resurrection. Not only that, it makes Pixar look like a total fucking joke.
The animation takes you back till the good old days of 2010 with Dreamwork's Megamind. Throughout the whole movie, I thought to myself "Wait, that baby looks like Megamind". So as I continued watching it, I thought this was an actual prequel to Megamind. Nope, turns out it was just the same guys who did the animation. Overall, I give this movie two thumbs up. Alec Baldwin nailed it as the baby. Rating: 9.3/10
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I was a major Power Rangers fan growing up as a kid. Everyday after school, I would sit at the television, waiting for the next episode to arrive. It was a big part of my childhood and made me escape my miserable life and my alcoholic dad always beating me up. Coming into this film, there was a lot it needed to pass in order to be good. Thankfully, it checked out every box on my list. Not only that, it succeeded them.
This is the Power Rangers film we fans of the cheesy 90's show needed. I was actually quite offended from seeing all the children seated in the theater. There were kids that looked around 10 or 11. At least seventeen would be fine by me. This is not their film, This is our film. A kid was sitting right behind me. He didn't talk during the movie or anything but I was just too annoyed by his presence. I turned around and punched him in the face while calling his mom a dirty whore. Then I realized that's what my dad used to do when I was a kid. Just from watching this movie, I started to comprehend the fact that I was growing up to be my dad. I even started weeping at one point. Overall, this movie was fantastic and the performances knocked it out of the park. They were even saying lines from the original series which pretty much meant they knew what the audience was. I definitely recommend it even though I still fucking hate children. Rating: 8.43/10 I wasn't expecting a lot from this movie.. I remember checking out the trailers one time and thought to myself "Nah. I think i'll pass". However, my gay twin cousin, Chester invited me to the word premiere in Los Angeles. And when someone gives me a free ticket, you know that i'm there. You guys all know the story of Beauty and the Beast so I don't have to waste my fucking time writing it out.
I just adored this movie from beginning to end. All the antiques, the yellow dress, the visual effects, everything. After I saw the movie, I went down to my local Hot Topic and got myself a yellow dress. I went back to my studio apartment and twirled around in it. I suddenly felt like a Disney Princess. Thankfully, my dad didn't catch me at the moment. Quite possibly the stand out was The Beast himself played by Dan Stevens. He's pretty much great in everything he shows up in and boy did he come to play. Not because of his acting or anything but pretty much his handsome looks. Especially him as the beast. There was that one scene where he looks up Belle in the dungeon and I thought to myself "Yeah you lock her up you pretty bastard". Overall, this movie is just as magical as the original and so just makes you feel something. Hell, I think i'm transitioning to a woman after seeing this. RATING: 6/10 Review by: Ralph Shepard (Breitbart news)
Now, I don't usually write reviews for movies because I barely even see movies and that's not my job. However, I heard many people talking about this movie so I said to myself "Why not?". I decided to bring my girlfriend, Tomi Larhen with me to the Thursday night premiere. Boy o boy, was she not happy. Let's just say I didn't get any anal that night. I couldn't blame her though. I hated this movie as well. At some moments I wanted to GET OUT of my seat and GET OUT of the theater. This was possibly the most racist film ever. As a man who indeitifies himself as a white supremacist and part of the Alt-right movement, I was angry how anti-white this movie was going to be. I mean white people are not demons are anything. We are real human beings. The director of this movie, Jordan Peelos or whatever his name is better give me a darn apology. We caucasian folks feel very insulted. Even though it might have great performances, great directing, writing, etc. And even though I might not know a thing or two about reviewing movie, i'm begging you not to see this film. Listen to my 100% correct political view on this and stay away from it. Rating: 4/10 With the the release of the trailer for the latest installment to the Diary of a Wimpy Kid franchise, Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul. The internet has been lit ablaze with people defending the film and others condemning it. The most outspoken is Zachary Gordon, star of the first 3 Wimpy Kid films. He and 200 others are leading a protest to get the film shut down. I was able to get an interview with Gordon which you can see below.
I am deeply saddened by this injustice. But also incredibly thankful for all these people supporting the cause. I have no problem with re casting actors but Alicia Silverstone is in this and I wanted to fuck her in her trailer while she called screamed "Greg! My son! Oh yes!". But now I won't get that chance. This is why we march. Protesters then began to spray paint "Justice for Greg" on the nearby buildings. What do you think? Are these protests justified? Let us know. by wyatt j.p Logan is the most disappointing thing since my son who's a girl or something now. The movie is absolutely nothing like Old Man Logan which this is supposed to be based on RIGHT?! I mean Logan is in both titles so they should be the same. More false advertising from FOX just like Fant4stic. I can't wait for the X-Men rights to go to REAL Marvel where Papa Feige reigns supreme. Speaking of "Real" almost none of this movie is real most of the characters are just actors on a set. They didn't even get the actual professor X from First Class and Apocalypse. I give this movie a 1/100 rating I've never been more pissed off in my life...well besides my girlboy. Wow. Just wow. Words can barely describe what the Unreel News team witnessed today. The lovely folks at Sony Pictures invited our whole crew to a private screening of Surfs Up 2 just 3 hours ago. As soon as we left the screening we had to let the world know how incredible this movie is.
John Tuna is just you’re average small town penguin who loves to surf. He was living out his life happily but when his best friend Cody Maverick(Shia lebouf) is brutally murdered by the UnderWaver its up to John Tuna to kick some ass and shreds some waves. There were tears a flowing from the entire staff. Thankfully, there were Sony Pictues branded tissues under each seat because they knew that there was something magical about this film. This movie will be loved, cherished, and talked about until the end of time. Obviously, we are going to give "Surfs Up 2: Wavemania” a 10/10. By Wyatt J.P There has been much controversy over the newest edition to the Star Trek franchise, Star Trek: Beyond. I was able to attend a press screening for the upcoming film at Justin Lin's house even though he didn't invite me. I just knocked out a security guard and used his uniform for cover.
I'm gonna tell you right now Star Trek: Beyond is easily the best movie I've seen in this franchise. Hell it is one of the best movies ever period. The main reason I loved this movie is that they completely ditched the smart and intellectual aspect and focused on turn your brain off fun. Very smart of them to do that, we need more fun movies rather than these boring think pieces. The cast proved to be the superior ensemble as opposed to the outdated fogies of the old films. Zachary Quinto especially proved himself to be far better than Leonard Nimoy. Thank god Nimoy is no longer around because it would be very embarrassing if that old coot tried to act in this movie as old Spock along side normal Spock. There was also a lot of poop jokes that really worked well with Spock. So yes, Star Trek: Beyond is the best Star Trek film ever. I hope Justin Lin returns to this franchise and buries the originals with this new flavor and I certainly hope William Shatner and the rest of the old cast apologize for holding back this franchise. By Wyatt J.P
I attended an early fan press screening of the upcoming Detective Comics film, Suicide Squad. I was extremely excited for this film which stars Willard Carrol Smith Jr., Margot Robbie and Jared Leto and I have to say I was extremely disappointed by this Darude Shitstorm. This movie has a LOT of problems but the main issue is the character development, there is WAY too much of it. I wanted to shut my brain off and watch explosions like every other superhero film, I mean that's what these movies are supposed to be, right? This problem takes many forms such as Harley Quinn having an origin as well as her relationship with The Joker. I didn't want that I just wanted to see them fight not this Oscar-level trash. The acting is good but I wanted to see the famous Detective Comics character Slipknot finally get his well deserved time on the big screen but he was just wasted. The Joker is a massive disappointment especially having to follow in the quintessential Joker Cameron Monaghan's footsteps. He comes off way to serious rather than the goofball we've come to know and love on the hit show Gotham. In conclusion this movie is a hot boring load of ass from David Ayer's rectum. I hope this movie bombs financially and critically. By Wyatt J.P I was lucky enough to attend a pressed screening for Wonder Woman which hits theaters June 2, 2017. This movie really has some great messages about rape culture and the wage gap, things that work perfectly in a film like this and it was handled in such a mature fashion. Lexi Alexander would be proud.
Acting wise Gal Gadot was born to play Diana Prince AKA Wonder Woman, there are some great dialogue scenes where she pulls off a near Oscar worthy performance. Chris Pine was very good but he definitely knew it wasn't his movie which I respect so much. This is Gal's movie not his. He had very minuscule lines which flowed perfectly throughout the film. The other cast did their job very well especially the actresses. In conclusion Wonder Woman is a provocative movie that really speaks to this generation of feminists I give it a 11/10. |
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