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REVIEW: "Alien: Covenant" is a disappointing piece of shit, and I haven't even seen it yet.5/16/2017 By Clank, @Clankity on Twitter
Alien: Covenant is the 6th entry in the Alien franchise and is directed by it's original creator, Ridley Scott. The film is about a crew of people investigating a planet they think could be the next gateway to human evolution and population, but the path to paradise quickly leads to hell after realizing that there's a killer species lurking about, taking out the crew of the Covenant one by one. At least, I think, because I never saw this movie. But I still fucking hate it regardless. As a matter of fact, I never saw the original films, either. I'm not a fan of the horror genre because I become too much of a pussy to sit in a dark room and watch a work of fiction that makes me jump out of my seat that I'll eventually forget about by the end of the day. That's just too much for me, so I watched the trailers. They were boring. There were a serious lack of explosions and action, plus the Alien looked like something a masochistic porn artist would draw if he felt REALLY horny. The acting was cliche and the scares were predictable as hell. The worst part, by far, is how they completely wasted Michael Fassbender. He did nothing other than act like a creepy robot. Pathetic. Don't watch this. I sure didn't, and you shouldn't, too.
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