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(Unreel Review) “Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales” makes me want to be dead.5/22/2017 By: Clank
“Dead Men Tell No Tales” is the fifth installment in the Pirates franchise, and stars Johnny Depp as Jack Sparrow once again, and Javier Bardeem as the villainous Salazar. The movie is about Pirates! And… that's it! The movie has literally nothing else to offer. I’m not sure how to drag out this review since there's nothing else to tlak about… Oh yeah! This movie makes me want to be dead. I never had any expectations for this movie, and yet, I’m still disappointed. The movie is literally a copy and paste from the first movies, just like the one before it. That ALONE makes me suicidal. There's very little meat on its bones in terms of story, it's just 3 guys having banter with each other for around two hours. That's it. Uhhhhhhhhhhhh shit. I got nothin today, folks.
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