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"PADDINGTON 3 WILL HAVE YOUR FAVORITE LOVABLE BEAR JOURNEY THROUGH THE PITS OF HELL" SAYS DIRECTOR.5/26/2018 'Paddington 2' has been acclaimed as one of the best - if not the best film of 2018 with a remarkable score of 100% on Rotten Tomatoes. Although the movie wasn't a smash hit at the box office, it still made enough money to warn a threequel. But how exactly can you top the sequel that's been known as the 'Godfather Part 2' of this generation? Well, director Paul King exactly knows that if you can't UP the quality then it might as well go DOWN. "He's going straight to hell", said Mr. King in an interview with Southern Living magazine. "The first two films were quite charming. People around the globe absolutely adored them and i'm very glad. However, we can't just keep on making charming adorable films. We need Paddington to go through a dark place. So that's why in Paddington 3, your favorite, lovable bear will journey through the pits of Hell. You're probably asking how can he get into hell is he's so damn lovable? Well, we're still coming up with the plot just don't worry about it. Also I want Eddie Redmayne as Satan. Do you have Eddie Redmayne's number?" Paul King was then escorted out the room as he accidentally dropped a bag of cocaine during the interview. How do you feel about this news? Do you think Paddington can make his way through the inferno? Is Eddie Redmayne a good choice for Satan? Let us know your thoughts in the comments. 'Paddington 3: Paddington Goes to Hell' is expected to hit theaters January 2020.
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'13 reasons why' show runner reveals season 3's BIG CONTROVERSIAL TOPIC: HIGH SCHOOL CAFETERIA FOOD.5/23/2018 Just when you think this show couldn't push the boundaries any further, the producers slam you to the wall and whisper in your ear, "We're just getting started baby". Which is what exactly happened to me this morning. Let's take it back to the beginning. I sat inside my room as rain started hitting my window. I could've been using this time looking for an actual job. But instead I decided to catch up on a few episodes of 'NARCOS'. Boy, that Pedro Pascal is one mighty fine slice of cheesecake I tell ya. Anyways, I receive a message from my asshole racist boss, Wyatt. He told me that he was feeling quite under the weather and asked to fill in for him today. He said the job was to go to Netflix Headquarters and interview the people behind the hit show 'Thirteen Reasons Why' while writing an article about it afterwards. At first I refused simply because i've never watched the show and I don't write articles anymore. He then replied with a picture of me and Helen Mirren on my summer 2016 vacation. Let's just say it's not a pretty picture. He also said that he would post that picture on the internet. Of course he would go straight to blackmailing so I surrendered and accepted the task. I drive on over to Netflix HQ and head straight to the third floor. The whole level smelled like vape and sweat. I knew I was in the right area. I entered Room 2.6 where the people behind 'Thirteen Reasons Why' worked. The room was filled with nothing but a bunch of dude in thirties with pony tells and beards wearing Hawaiian shirts. One of them came up to me and shook my hand. He introduced himself as the showrunner, Mr. Netflix Jr. I sat down with Mr. Netflix Jr. and started shooting off questions. I asked him about any details for the next season. He took one big vape hit and blew it right in my face, stating... "You know, I want this show to tackle really important issues in this modern day era, you know. We have a voice that needs to be heard. Like the first season was about suicide and stuff. And like the second season was about rape and stuff. So, you know for Season 3, I wanted to tackle the quality of High School cafeteria food and why it poisons millennial's and the educational system. I watched a whole documentary about it on Netflix which my dad owns and it really got me thinking, you know. Apparentally the food is actually NOT food and it really opened my eyes. And since my show is pretty popular, I think more people will open their eyes and see the truth." I started to drift away as I had no idea what the hell he was saying. I got up and told him to have a nice day. He then tackled me and slammed my head against the wall. He then whispered into my ear "We're just getting started, baby." Suddenly, more execs started to run up to me - one even I had a broom. My head started to spin. What the hell was he going to with that broom? Thankfully, the FBI came in and arrested all of them. Thank the lord the FBI was there to save me. Any who, do you like where they're taking this show? Will the producers be facing time in prison? Let us know in the comments and be sure to apply sunscreen thirty minutes before getting into the pool. Now if you excuse me, i'm going to therapy. By Wyatt J.P
Lars Von Trier is no stranger to controversy. His previous films included a scene involving Willem Defoe’s balls getting crushed causing him to cum blood, Shia Labeouf’s penis and other things cool I guess. Von Trier has been making the rounds with his new film The House That Jack Built based off of the beloved children’s book. The story follows not Jack but Matt Dillon doing sickening things to women and a black guy. The film received a mass walkout at Cannes this past week confirming the French will raise their flag for anything nowadays. If all this wasn’t enough the film will now be screened in the Râpé theater, which will be the first theater to allow rape during the screening. Von Trier stated the following: My film is one that makes the audience feel many emotions. One in particular is rape. I wanted to make the audience feel truly immersed into this film. I showed it to one of my colleagues and he started to force himself on me halfway through. I quite enjoyed it so I wanted to share that experience with everyone. I thank the Râpé theater for this amazing opportunity. Well this sure is an interesting marketing scheme and I will let you guys know how it was. |
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