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You could say that Brad Bird's The Iron Giant is by far one of the greatest animated movies of all time. However, Hollywood just had to put there nuts into this classic and just ruin it. Just smearing there hairy nuts all over it. Yes, there are now talks that The Iron Giant is being eyed for a live action remake. Basically the original masterpiece... just with real people. We talked with a few heads over at Warner Bros. to ask why they are single handedly raping my childhood. One of the old fucks said this: "Although The Iron Giant didn't make much money at the box office, it seems like there has been love for this movie for almost the last two decades. I think with new technology we could tell this story in a new way and introduce these characters to a younger audience. We are very -HEY WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?" I started to beat the living shit out of the wrinkly bastard with a stapler, getting me thrown out of the building. With so much anger running inside me, I had to talk to Brad Bird about this. Thankfully, I found him living in his Prius outside of the Whole Food Market. This was his response: "Listen man, life is just meaningless you know? My last movie, Tomorrowland fucking bombed. I was trying to get with the kids about saving the environment but they didn't go see it. Now they're just gonna litter all over the place like it's no problem. I don't care if they remake my old movie. I just hope they touch on important subjects like noise pollution and climate change". He then started to smoke out of his special edition Mr. Incredible bong and had no follow up comments. So, what do you guys think about this plan of remaking The Iron Giant? We hear at Unreel News are mad as hell. You do realize once this movie comes out, I can't watch the original ever again. All the copies will immediately go away. I don't want to live in a world like this. Let us know in the comments and be sure to follow us for more Unreel News. God help us all.
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By Wyatt J.P
Shortly after Bill Nye's new Netflix series, Bill Nye Saves The World aired it appears that Netflix has cancelled it due to the spread of misinformation. Nye called Gender a spectrum which is of course WRONG! Gender is determined by your genitalia at birth. Nye responded to the cancellation in the statement below. What the fuck does Netflix know? Their logo is red, which is the color of the Republican Party. Meaning they are wrong. Everything I say is true! I mean I debated a FUCKING creationist! What more proof do you need?! Now excuse me I just found out that water pollution is a thing and I have to go speak on it. I told him that water is in the air and that we breathe it everyday. He proceeded to slap me in the face and call me a Nazi. How do you think Nye will recover from this mental illness he has? Let us know. We're only less than a week away from the release of the next installment (or reboot) into the beloved Wimpy Kid franchise. With much backlash on the new cast and Rodrick being gender fluid, it seems like there was no gleam of hope for this movie anywhere. Thankfully, the heads at Fox have thrown in their secret weapon. During a concert at Coahchella, would famous composer Hans Zimmer (Man of Steel, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Amazing Spider-Man 2, Wild Hogs) has just confirmed in front of a live audience that he will be in fact being composing the score Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul. Everyone in the crowd was very high and drunk to even care what he just said. As a clean edge dude myself, I was interested. I disguised myself as a security guard to go backstage and ask him why he has decided to do this movie. This is what he stated: "Listen kid, I just took a shit ton of mushrooms and all I see is like four of you at the same time. However, I'll try my best to answer your question. The thing is, I'm getting really super tired of Superhero movies. Hehe get it. Everytime Zack Snyder makes another one of his gay comic book things, he calls me up to see if I could do the score. For Justice League, I just told him to fuck off and I've never answered him again. I just wanted to do something different you know? I've never seen to have done Wimpy Klan or Kat or whatever. And I think I could reall-" He then fell down right onto the floor, spazzing out. Puke started to spray out of his mouth too. I didn't want to take him to the hospital or anything so I decided to just leave. Anyways, what are your guys' thoughts on Hans doing the Long Haul? Do you think he's the right choice? Should I have helped him out? Let me know in the comments and make sure to follow us on Twitter and Instagram for more Unreel News. By Wyatt J.P
Disney is currently is the process of developing live action remakes of their animated classics. So far we have seen the success of Cinderella, The Jungle Book, and Beauty and the Beast, but now Disney is looking to go in a more diverse direction with The Song of the South. The original Song of the South was a live action/2D animated hybrid which starred James Baskett as Uncle Remus, a cotten pickin' legend who entertains two little white boys with cartoons that appear for no reason. The remake will be directed by Lee Daniels The Butler (his full name) who also created Empire and some other black movies. What do do you think about this. Let us know By Wyatt J.P
Just a week after the trailer for Star Wars: The Last Jedi dropped it is now being reported that Colin Trevorrow's Episode IX script was so bad that Disney and Lucasfilm have completely scrapped it and are starting over from scratch. Trevarrow is now 100% of the project. Kathleen Kennedy released the following statement. It is with a heavy heart that we announce the departure of- what the fuck is his name?- Oh yeah Colin Trevor Noah from Star Wars Episode IX. His script was just so fucking bad it made Chipotle seem like the last meal you would want on death row. I don't even know why the fuck we hired him, I think it was only because of Jurassic World's success that's about it. As sad but also a blessing this is we have to get serious about this film. That's why we have brought on Adi Shankar to rewrite the script. He has such a unique vision for the Star Wars universe, a lot of relevant themes such as sexuality, paganism, white privilege and anti capitalist themes. I hope to have a great relationship with him despite me being white. We also got to speak with Adi Shankar as he walking out of Whole Foods. Here's what he said. Well... you see it's... it's a really great opportunity for me to show the industry how REAL fans can make a movie... I also... I also... I also really want to remove the..."white power" aspect that these movies have by adding people of my race (whatever it is) into the movie...and uh... yeah it'll uhh... it should be a fun experience, but I hope... that I don't have to work with some white dude. Ya know? What are your thoughts on this shocking development. Let us know. Big. Fucking. Orgy.It has almost been one whole year since the BFG was released! Not only did it receive mixed reviews(like even reviews fucking matter), it bombed harder than Hiroshima, losing over 100 million dollars at the office. What could have turned people off from this epic tale for all ages? Was it the choice to open the movie during the crucifixion of Jesus Christ? Could it have been the lackluster score by that hack known as John Williams? Perhaps it was the twenty-minute intermission, in which Spielberg masturbates to photos of his ex-spouse Kate Capshaw.
Spielberg has finally come out his bunker to reveal his theory on why the BFG fucking bombed: "I have made a lot of good ideas in my career as a filmmaker. Like marrying Kate Capshaw. She is such a wonderful woman. I made that one movie about that space nigga on the bike. Have you seen Jurassic Park? That shit is Lit. The only thing that could have made that movie better is if Kate Capshaw was in it. But the BFG had so much potential to be my best movie yet. In the original script, there was a scene where me and my ex-wife, Kate Capshaw, were supposed to have sexual intercourse. It would have been the greatest sex scene ever released in the cinemas. Unfortunately, Kate turned the part down. So I decided to just have the BFG and the little girl to fuck instead. I admit maybe this wasn’t my best idea but it still gave me an erection." Article by: Shaun King Yup you heard that right Sony buys Disney for 20 billion, not the other way around. Now Sony owes Loan Sharks 19 billion. That's it. That's all that happened, nothing more. What you want me to write what kinda tea they were having while they made the deal? follow Flick Fellas for that kinda shit. i'm only half assing these articles you ungrateful fucks. Here is a pic of the Loan Sharks Sony owe money to: I hope you liked the article, comment down bellow and make sure to follow our twitter account @Unreel_News for more half ass articles.
Now filming in Atlanta is Marvel's next big blockbuster, Black Panther. Thankfully I was around that area when I was on Jury Duty. I took a few pictures but very quickly so I couldn't get my ass shot. Thankfully they came out really clear. As I was taking photos one of them came up to me and told me to leave property and called me a honkie. Anyways, what are you thoughts on these set photos? Personally, we think it looks great. Black Panther slashes to theaters February 16, 2018. Make sure to follow us for more Unreel News and don't forget... THE SOUTH WILL RISE AGAIN.
Article by: Walt Disney's ghost
Mark Hamill has just confirmed that Hayden Christensen will return as Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Everyone expected it to be announced at celebration on Friday but it seems like Mark Hamill had other ideas. What a blabbering mouth he is. He accidentally said it in an interview with Heroic Hollywood. He tried to cover it up by saying that Jar Jar would also return but the reporter said that he already knew because Snoke is obviously Jar Jar. When the interview was over you could see Daisy Ridley getting furious and that black guy from The Force Awakens for some reason also getting furious. Follow us at @unreel_news for more news on Mark Hamill's blabbering mouth By Wyatt J.P
Video game movies up to today have mostly been ass. With flops like Ass's Creed and Warcraft, we are left wondering. Will there ever be a good video game movie? Well it looks like there will be as 2K Games has just announced they will be teaming up with Revolution Studios to produce several films based of the wildly successful 2k(insert year here) games. 2K has stated that they intend for this to be a cinematic universe with 2 other movies currently slated including MLB 2K17 and WWE 2K17. The plot of NBA 2K17 will revolve around Jamal, an urban high school drop out who loves shooting hoops and niggas in his spare time. After being locked up for being black, a retired NBA player Shaquille O'Neil comes to tell the boy to join the NBA and fulfill his blackness. The movie is set set to hit theaters in May of 2019 with names like Spike Lee, Steve McQueen, and Tyler Perry being considered to direct. What do you think about this 2K cinematic universe? Let us know |
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