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By Wyatt J.P
Amy "The Humor" Schumer has been killing it on the scene with her 100% original stand up as well as her skyrocketing movie career. Now it looks like she'll be starring in the movie adaptation of the popular 80s and 90s tv series Murder She Wrote. The movie is described as a laugh out loud raunchy R-rated comedy in the style of CH!PS. We got to speak to Amy Schumer at the gay pride march in NYC. Here's what she said. I am so excited to take on this iconic character that everyone pretends to know. I'm going to really pay respect to the late great Angela Pillsberry, she's dead right? Whatever, hey where's you aren't wearing and rainbows what the fuck is wrong with you! Get your bigoted ass here you Hetero! I was then beaten by the homo Elite of New York. But that's the price of progress.
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By Wyatt J.P
WB just made the biggest mistake since casting a Zionist as Wonder Woman. These insensitive trump voters decided it would be ok to have a Cyborg filter. Now for black people this is ok because it's THEIR hero not yours. But now we see all these crackers, spics and chinks using the filter which is 100% blackface. If you have used this filter and you aren't black you need to issue a public apology to the NAACP and king of the blacks Al Sharpton. Please think before you act. By Wyatt J.P
With Transformers: The Last Knight's Tale or whatever hitting theaters this month people are still wondering as to what is next for the TCU, well it looks like we found an answer as Michael Bay has just announced that he is doing a Transformers spinoff about the dankest bots in the universe, Mudflap and Skids. Bay issued the following statement regarding the news I got the inspiration from this YouTube reviewer John Campea from the Movie Blog which I need to check out more of. He refereed to these characters as "Hood Niggas" and I thought to myself that's it! I am hoping to begin production this year with my best friend and should-be Oscar winning screenwriter Tom Green writing the film. Now excuse me I have to scout the black culture for research. What do you think? Let us know. By Wyatt J.P
Huge news for Women's health today, as Disney has officially bought the Planned Parenthood franchise and is now in production of planning a shared universe of different health organizations such as Susan G. Komen and The VA. Disney CEO Bob Iger made the following statement: This is a huge step forward for us as a community. We sure showed Drumpf am I right? Haha that's a joke for all the young ones. We expect to launch a full shared universe of health services for not only women but LGBT and Veterans as well. Who says capitalism sucks LOL. That's another thing the kids say haha. We here at Unreel congratulate Planned Parenthood and Disney on this historic progressive move. This will really show those republicans. From the fuckbois that brought us two good batman and games and one pretty shitty tank simulator have just revealed their next project.
Rocksteady have just stolen E3 2017 and have possibly created one of the greatest E3 reveals of all time occurred just a few moments ago. One of our writers was allowed to witness a behind close curtains demo of Rocksteady's new open world adventure, Megamind: Ultimate Showdown. In the 35 minute demo we learned the following: The game takes place about 3 years after the events of the film Megamind. Megamind is enjoying life as the new defender of the newly named Metro-Sexual-city, but all of a sudden all hell breaks loose. Out of nowhere Tighten the Metro-Sexual-City high security prison is destroyed releasing all of it's inmates and megaminds high-profile enemies. Once the city was evacuated, megamind was able to activate his megashield which walls off the entirety of Metr0-City. Armed with his new Spiderbot he and minion must now save the city and find out whoever blew up the prison. The developers told us to picture the size of Arkham Knights map and to multiply it by six. "Thats pretty fucking big" One of our editors replied "Not as big as Megaminds Mega-cock" One of the developers stated We saw some spiderbot gameplay as well. The Spiderbot can devastate any thing that has the displeasure of encountering. It's armed with two forward facing dehydration guns and two spider arms on the back. In the demo, the spiderbot went up to a criminal, tied him up in webs and then span him like a fucking beyblade "If the city is in that much danger why wouldn't metro man help?" One of our editors injured "Why didn't superman help batman in Arkham city? Suck my fucking dick you worthless pile of shit" said the developer Joss Whedon to kill Batgirl so she won't see what a tub of fuckery this country has become.6/9/2017 Article by: Joss Whedon`s mother
Joss Whedon is at it again folks, You thought he couldn't tweet something more controversial? Well you were wrong as always. Normally this is the part where i would say what exactly he said but there is a pic above that says it for me. And yes it's real, we wouldn't be reporting it if it wasn't. As you can see this tweet reveals huge information about the Batgirl movie. Considering that 99% of people probably didn't think she was dead for 25 years except Joss Whedon and maybe Jared Leto. So who do you girls think is gonna take over the mantle of Batgirl in the solo Batgirl movie? Bruce Wayne anyone? Make sure to follow us at @Unreel_news for more reliable news By Wyatt J.P
Incredibly tragic news for the music industry today as pop sensation Chip Skylark has passed away at the age of 43. The singer was found dead in the bathroom of his Beverly Hills mansion with his teeth so white it would make Malcom X kill himself. Skylark apparently brushed his teeth to the point where they were so shiny that looking at his gorgeous smile in the mirror caused him to have a stroke. Skylark will best be known for his breakup song Icky Vicky and My Shiny Teeth And Me Our best wishes are to his family and his longtime friend Timmy Turner. By Wyatt J.P Dinesh D'Souza is one of the most polarizing figures in the film industry today. He caused quite a stir when he came out with 2016 Obama's America back in 2012, followed by America something or whatever and the mockumentary about Hillary Clinton's non existent presidency. He is now stirring up even more controversy with his latest doc An Inconvenient Lie a documentary that is debunking the age old myth of climate change, a lie perpetrated by the liberal elite to rob America of its wealth making us more vulnerable to terror attacks. We had a chance to speak with the Curry Fury himself to talk about the film. He said this.
I am very excited for people to see this film it will really expose all the lies spread by- Just then a bullet went straight through the man's head. I got a glimpse of who it was and it was none other than Albert Gore himself he then walked up to me and said Kid, take this and tell the others. He gave me a condom made out of renewable energy and told me to fuck the belief of climate change into every denier. I of course threw it away and gave him a butt fucking with facts. He will no longer be a threat to this world. What do you think about this documentary? Let us know With the last Transformers being like one of the longest fucking films ever, it seems director. Michael Bay will be taking a different turn with this upcoming installment. In a recent interview with MovieChode.com he said that Transformers 5 will be short and he means very short. These were his exact comments. "I decided that this new Transformers movie will be like an hour and 8 minutes... or something. I honestly don't remember the exact run time". He then continued on about why it's that damn short. This was his response. "I thought of it as like a quickie you know? This movie is equivalent as to how long I go in bed. Also, the main audience for this movie are 12 year olds who have serious ADHD. Like you can't make those little shits pay attention to anything now a days. If this movie was going to be like 2 hours and 15 mintues, they would probably take out their gay fidget spinners and start complaining. Those autistic fucks". What are your thoughts on the runtime to Transformers 5? Do you play with gay little fidget spinners? Let us know in the comments and be sure to have your pets spayed or neutered. Goodnight folks. #Equality |
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