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Very sad news out of West New Berry Massachusetts as a man who went to the theater with his girlfriend's children to see Kubo and the Two Strings has died from having his eyes ripped from his skull.
Witnesses say that when the trailer for Doctor Strange started the man looked as if he was having a seizure. As the trailer went on to the part with the buildings falling the man's eyes blew out from his sockets onto the IMAX screen. The two eyes bounced off the screen and went into the man's throat suffocating him. We then interviewed one of the children he was with. BOY: He wasn't our dad he was just some guy our mom had playdates with in her room. They played games like 'Doggy walk' and "sucky sucky" she said those are games for grown ups and that me and my sister had to stay in the living room until they were done. My mom usually wins because she comes out of her room with vanilla cake frosting on her face. Our hearts go out to the family and friends of this man.
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Though the response to Suicide Squad was largely negative, there is no doubt that one of the film's highlights is Jared Leto's performance as The Joker. Leto was praised for his unique mannerisms throughout the film, especially in the legendary "strip-club scene", which has been cited by many as one for the greatest scenes to ever grace the silver screen. This likely influenced Warner Bros. Pictures, as today, they announced a solo Joker film with Jared Leto returning to star, set for a 2019 release! And along with some plot/cast information, they also released the film's official teaser poster, revealing Leto's new and "improved" Joker look (below)! And there it is! The film is confirmed to be titled Handsome Hunka Hunka. The updated Joker design has a crazyyyy amount of bling, which only adds to the uniqueness of the DCEU's Clown Prince of Crime. Also noted is several new tattoos (which are sure to have extremely deep hidden meanings that will probably be revealed 10 years from now), jewelry, and more of Leto's iconic "Jokastache!" It has also been confirmed that Leto would not wear any clothes during the film to greater show his extensive collection of tattoos.
Handsome Hunka Hunka will reportedly take place entirely in Joker's strip club, briefly seen in Suicide Squad. The film stars Jared Leto, who returns as Pimp Joker. Warner Bros. confirmed that Joker would have a whopping 12 minutes of screen time, a huge difference from the 43 seconds we saw of Leto's Joker in Suicide Squad. The film will be over 3 hours long. Margot Robbie is also returning as Harley Quinn, and will reportedly be the film's main focus, which honestly defeats the purpose of a "Joker" solo movie, but who really cares, right? When Warner Bros. was asked about this, they replied: "Well Joker may not be in #HHH for like 10 hours like you neckbeard fanboys are expecting, but he has a looming presence over the film that can be intensely felt throughout. Which totally justifies us marketing this as a Joker movie." Are you excited for Handsome Hunka Hunka? Let us know in the comments, and stay tuned for more from Unreel News! #HandsomeHunkaHunka In a shocking turn of events, the hackers called "BotynCorp" have infiltrated the website of film review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, as well as publicly leak private site information! By far the biggest discovery in the leaked data was the fact that Rotten Tomatoes has been rigging ratings of certain films, such as the DCEU franchise. Marvel Studios CEO Kevin Feige has also been involved in scandal, and was exposed for paying Rotten Tomatoes to give many DCEU films bad reviews in leaked Facebook conversations. It also seems that Wonder Woman and Justice League were already set to receive 33% and 2% on the site, respectively. This is no doubt shocking news for the world of film, yet expected by the majority of the DC shill fanbase. Rotten Tomatoes and Marvel Studios have yet to respond to the matter. Stay tuned for more from Unreel News!
by noah ericksonFinally! Akira Toriama has officially revealed Vegetas sexuality on his official twitter page. I don’t know what this means for Dragonball but at least I know I’m allowed to like it now.
By Wyatt J.P
Hold the phone! Or in this case, the lightsaber. It is being reported from reliable sources that will remain unnamed, that Darth Vader has been removed from the upcoming Rogue One: A Star Wars Story. Our sources said the following. Darth Vader has been cut from Rogue One: A Star Wars Story for being detrimental to the African American community for being "the big bad negro". Disney has received numerous death threats from the NAACP and the BLM movement for this disgusting display of racism. Disney and Lucasfilm have sent letters to both groups and have announced that they are retconning Darth Vader from Star Wars canon. What do you think about this news, let us know down below. Several months ago, Warner Bros. Pictures officially announced that a solo film on the Suicide Squad character "Slipknot" would be released in 2018, due to glowing reception of Adam Beach's portrayal from early screenings. Beach's performance was also universally acclaimed by critics and audiences when Suicide Squad was released, and is reportedly on the shortlist for Best Supporting Actor at the 89th Academy Awards. Today, Warner Bros. officially released the trailer for the Slipknot movie, titled The Man Called Slipknot, and it is guaranteed to blow your mind! So there you have it! Are you excited for Slipknot's return to the big screen? We here at Unreel sure are. The Man Called Slipknot hits theaters in 2018. Stay tuned for more from Unreel News!
Just 2 months ago, Mr. Sandler confirmed that he would be making a Netflix school shooter comedy film titled Funumbine. The plot revolved around Adam Sandler as a high school janitor, who must defeat a school shooter by lunch time. Many have been speculating how will this go about and who will star in the film. Thankfully, my cousin Roberto hacked into Adam Sandler's email and gave the first four pages of the script. Thoughts? Funumbine will be released in December 2016 and Ice Age director Chris Wedge will helm the film. Stay tuned for more from Unreel News!
It's no secret that Nine Lives has been panned by film critics, with some referring to it as "the worst movie ever made." We had a chance to sit down with the film's acclaimed star, Kevin Spacey, to address the backlash.
"So how do you feel about the negative reviews for Nine Lives?" "It's deserved. That movie is a piece of crap." "Do you regret starring in it?" "Yeah, worst decision of my life. I regret Nine Lives more than I do Horrible Bosses 2." "Wow, that certainly is saying something, but Kevin, why did you ever agree to star in the film?" "I was kinda fucked up when the studio approached me." "How so?" "Well my dealer had sold me a bad batch and it didn't go so well." "By dealer, are you referring to a drug dealer?" Kevin proceeded to angrily stare at our interviewer for about 8 minutes before finally responding. "Yes. The crank wasn't ripe enough. The dragon was the opposite. Didn't sit well with me, usually I'm fine. They told me I would win an Academy Award for my performance, and a bunch of other shit, and I believed it all. I was actually gonna start an Oscar campaign before the stuff wore off." "Well, that certainly explains a lot." After the interview, we discovered that "crank" and "dragon" were slang terms for meth and heroin. We also had asked Kevin if he thought the digital effects on the cat were done well, but he responded with a rant about how the cat was "real and not CGI." When we refuted this, he proceeded to set fire to our entire studio and then took off in his Porsche. After this incident, we called the police, and they found a used syringe when searching our burned studio. Which explains everything. Stay tuned for more from Unreel News! Dreamworks Animation Studios have officially announced that the highly-anticipated sequel to 2006's hit film Bee Movie will hit theaters Summer 2020, with the film tentatively titled "Bee Movie 2." They also released the official poster for the film and the cast list (below). Dreamwork's official plot states "10 years after Vanessa divorces Barry, Adam Flayman, Barry's former best friend, begins an affair with Vanessa. However, unknown to Vanessa, Adam doesn't love Vanessa, he just wants some of dat ass. The only one who can see through Adam's lies is Barry and Vanessa's only child, Freddie B. Benson. Freddie refuses to let Adam use his mother and with the help of Vanessa's former flame, Ken, and his uncle, Gary B. Busey, he attempts to get rid of Adam once and for all. See how it all unfolds in BEE MOVIE 2!"
Bee Movie 2 will be directed by Quentin Tarantino (originally was to be helmed by Zack Snyder, however, Snyder has been missing for several weeks ever since his altercation with Brendan Fraser) and stars Nathan Kress as Freddie B. Benson, Renee Zellweger as Vanessa Bloome, Matthew Broderick as Adam Flayman, Patrick Warburton as Ken, Gary Busey as Gary B. Busey, and John Goodman as Mr. Montgomery. Jerry Seinfeld will produce the film and will also cameo as his iconic character Barry B. Benson. Bee Movie 2 flies into theaters Summer 2020. Stay tuned for more from Unreel News! By adam bearThe seventh superhero that we will see in Justice League has been shrouded in mystery since the start. It was confirmed that we will see Batman, The Flash, Superman, Aquaman, Wonder-Woman, and Cyborg, but who is the seventh? Well, in a bizarre turn of events, the seventh member has just been announced by Warner Bros, the legendary superhero Animal Man.
Animal Man is a character that has been around the DC universe for a long time. His first appearance was in 1965, and has the power to gain the ability of any animal. Geoff Johns issued a statement this morning (below). "We are extremely excited to announce the seventh hero in our upcoming film, 'Justice League.' We have spent much time collaborating with our brothers at DC Comics, and have decided to bring Animal Man, an understated superhero who has a really cool power to the DCEU. We have been eyeing many people to play the role, but have narrowed it down to one person, Academy Award winning actor Jonathan Lipnicki." There is no doubt that Jonathan Lipnicki will bring something we have never seen before to the DCEU, but it is an odd choice to have an actor who has faded into obscurity quite a bit since his adventures in Stuart Little. Will Animal Man save the DC Extended Universe? Only time will tell. Stay tuned for more from Unreel News! |
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